|voicemail:||Della call us back your father fell off a ladder and is in the hospital|
|me:||OMG *dials mom*|
|me:||omg what happened are you ok??|
|dad:||your mother is a TRIP she said that so she'd make sure you call her back|
|me:||LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL THAT BITCH|
HAVE YOU BEEN KEEPING THAT JELLY IN THE FREEZER? KIND OF DEFEATS THE PURPOSE OF HAVING A LIGHT AND TENDER TOUCH, IF YOU ASK ME.
WHOEVER INVENTED PROSTATE EXAMS IS AN ASSHOLE.
… THERE’S A JOKE IN THERE SOMEWHERE.
I COULD PROBABLY THINK OF IT IF I WASN’T TOO BUSY CRYING INSIDE.