April 2012
obeseblackguy:
if i tell you when i poop i consider you a good friend
This stray kitten kept following me on campus bc I had food in my hand
So I gave his cute ass some shrimp :/
johndavesexual:
fun fact did you know that hell’s national anthem is actually a five year old playing ‘hot cross buns’ on the recorder
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I really hate small talk
Its like forced conversation & I always feel like I said something dumb right after it
efronsbutt:
has everyone forgotten about 3oh!3 because i want to
Someone: can I use your computer for a second
Me: what do you need I'll look it up for you
me: wow I'm actually happy right now
life: lol now hold on just one minute
jewsbox:
when ur stomach growls in class and everyone thinks u farted
queefjerkey:
how to avoid doing homework
sit on tumblr
twerk
masturbate
quagslre:
sometimes i think im ugly but then i remember all of those hot white girls holding up signs saying “youre beautiful” and remember im not (:
clavid:
apparently i’m a slave 4 u is not an appropriate song to put on a powerpoint about the 13th amendment
queefjerkey:
my hidden talent is letting all of my homework and other obligations pile up until the very last minute so i can crack under the pressure and have a mental breakdown
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My brain during the day: Potato, potato, ching chong tomato
My brain at night: I wonder why the Earth was placed exactly here and allowed us to provide a perfect climate to sustain human life
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